We are often told by trans advocates that the only approach when assisting a child or adolescent who has gender distress and wants to transition to another gender incongruent with their biological sex is that we should ‘affirm’ them. In this situation affirm means to ‘give it a big yes or to confirm that it is true’. However, in my view the better approach is to respect the individual’s wishes but not to necessarily affirm them. The reasons for this approach are outlined below. Any comments?
Respecting a child’s views and feelings without necessarily affirming them can be valuable for several reasons:
- Encourages Exploration: Respecting without immediate affirmation allows space for the child to explore their gender identity at their own pace, without feeling rushed into medical decisions.
- Focus on Underlying Issues: This approach can help address any underlying mental health or social issues that might be contributing to the child’s distress, providing a more holistic support system.
- Avoids Premature Decisions: By not affirming immediately, it avoids setting the child on a path of medical transition that carries long-term implications, allowing for more time to consider options.
- Builds Trust and Communication: This approach fosters open communication, where the child feels heard and respected, which can strengthen the child-parent or child-therapist relationship.
- Acknowledges Complexity: Gender identity can be complex and fluid, especially in children. Respecting without immediate affirmation acknowledges this complexity and allows for a more nuanced understanding.
This approach aims to balance support for the child with caution, ensuring that any steps taken are in the child’s best long-term.
Dr Philip Morris AM